Deviation Actions
Description
Based on an idea by: myself
"Dog catchers" characters created by sanders2192
Read the whole story here: sanders2192.deviantart.com/art…
The Game of Groans chapters so far:
Chapter 1 (The Lady Knight): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 2 (The Captured Princess / The Beggared King): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 3 (Tabitha / The Saddle Sore Squire): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 4 (The Wicked Witch / Princess Darling): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 5 (Tabitha): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 6 (Malicersei): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 7 (Sarah / Goruz): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 8 (Tabitha / Malicersei): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 9 (Tabitha): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 10 (Sarah / Goat): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 11 (Sarah): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 12 (Princess Darling): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 13 (Princess Darling): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 14 (Tabitha / Sarah): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 15 (Princess Darling / Tabitha): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 16 (Princess Darling): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 17 (Tabitha / Sarah): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 18 (Malicersei / Tabitha): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 19 (Princess Darling): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 20 (Tabitha): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 21 (Malicersei): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Chapter 22 (The Three Amigos): jedleech.deviantart.com/art/Th…
The company had stopped for the night. Goruz, the foul smelling, evil tempered commander of the foul smelling, evil tempered orc war band had given the command to get a fire going. ‘And find some food, you ugly bastards!’ The commander stood a head taller than any of the soldiers under his charge. He was broader too, and every inch of his thick, dark green hued body was covered with muscle. Goruz was a formidable fighter, as the princess had seen for herself. He’d despatched two of her best knights with as little trouble as one might expect a seasoned knight to despatch peasant levies.
The princess, tall, fair and flame-haired, knew that she was only alive because the orcs’ mistress wanted her as a prisoner. These creatures bore the sigil of an immense green serpent on a field of blood red; the symbol of the witch Malicersei. Her father would have to pay a pretty price to see her returned to him, which was a pity, since Princess Darling’s father was broke. Malicersei’s patience was apparently inexhaustible, however; an unusually – some said unnaturally - long life could bring that quality out in a person. Unfortunately, the sorceress’s cruelty was also legendary. Princess Darling, of house Derriere, thought that death might be preferable – though she was determined to remain alive all the same.
CHYYYOMP!!
‘OWWW!!!’ The princess squeaked as one of the horrible animals the orcs rode sank its teeth into her well-heeled but rotund bottom without warning! The soldiers about her jeered and laughed. Mercifully, the warg’s teeth had been filed down by years of ripping and tearing without due care and attention being paid to its dental needs. Its teeth would leave a mark, but Princess Darling would not be seriously wounded.
‘That hurt, you mean thing!’ she admonished the beast. She would have wagged a finger, if her hands and feet had not been bound together.
CHOMP!
‘EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!’
Princess Darling screeched as a second bite took her in the rear. This time, the seat of her jade coloured, immodestly tight fitting royal skirt came away in the monster’s jaws. ‘WHY YOU…’ Darling turned a nasty shade of red as her purple silken underclothes were revealed. She made a play of swiping at the beast, though it was useless, trussed up as she was. The assembled orcs thought the mummer’s farce highly amusing until Goruz stepped in to put an end to it.
‘Easy Grinder,’ he said to the warg. ‘This one’s to get to the mistress in one piece,’ he paused for effect, then added with an evil glint in his eye ‘or as close to as possible.’
Darling turned her ire on the orc commander. ‘You won’t get away with this. My father…’
‘Your father is sitting in his castle, surrounded by his men, doing not a thing. Everyone knows his power is failing. Soon enough, he’ll fall. And when he does, our mistress will be the new queen.’
‘That’s not true!’ Darling’s pretty face twisted with rage. ‘He’ll come for me, himself if needs be. And when he does, you’re going to wish you’d never been born you, you…filthy brute!’
Goruz seemed non-plussed by the insult. ‘Yes, yes, that’s right. Daddy will come and make it all better.’ He chuckled to himself, a horrible sound. ‘Or perhaps he won’t.’
WHAP!
He swatted the princess’s rump with the flat of his sword.
‘OWWWW!!!’ She protested. It hurt like hell. She cursed them and spat. The orcs simply laughed at her fury.
Thereafter, Princess Darling became determined more than ever to escape and return to her home and castle, but for now there was nothing she could do. She was their prisoner.
* * *
THE BEGGARED KING
The great lord sat upon a magnificent throne carved of solid oak, and plated with gold. His beard was neatly trimmed and his coarse graying hair fell down about his neck. Atop his head he wore a circlet made of gold. His surcoat was emblazoned with the golden cheeks of House Derriere. The House words Made to Sit the Oaken Throne adorned the nearby tapestries that told the story of his ancient house’s rise to power in days long gone. In those days, House Derriere had been rich; rich enough to buy the loyalty of noble lords who had then helped them forge warring neighbours into a single kingdom.
These days, however, it was a different story.
‘So, Master Sedgewick,’ the king rested his temple on his right hand, ‘what you’re telling me is that we have no money to pay for armies?’
The kindly old man with the horn rimmed glasses and long white beard looked to his king with pity in his eyes, not fear. He appraised the flip chart displaying the graph with the single red arrowed zig-zagging downward one more time. ‘Would that we could think of it, your grace. For the moment, we are hard pressed to pay the pot-boys.’ The king sank lower into the oaken throne. Was it his imagination, or was that crown getting heavier by the moment?
Master Sedgewick gave him a sympathetic smile. ‘I’m afraid, your Grace, that paying for an army is quite out of the question. To be frank, we may have to cut back a little round the castle, too.’ The king sighed. ‘This is desperate news. Malicersei grows stronger every day. I can only pray that my daughter’s mission to the Northern Kingdom is a success.’
King Eddbert, the third of his name, grew weary. His daughter was his only living child and his successor. She was also, as they say, a bit of a handful. Smart enough, but bratty as they come. Opinionated, loud and rarely grateful for the kindnesses he showed her, Princess Darling had nevertheless been the natural choice to act as envoy to the Northern Kingdom, now that her poor mother, who hailed from those parts, was bedridden, apparently unlikely to rise again. No doctor could help her, it seemed, and none seemed able to put a name on her illness. Master Sedgewick, a man learned in such matters, had advanced tentatively the theory that Queen Adelaide had been placed under a witch’s curse – an evil spell of terrible power. The king would not hear of it, however. ‘This is an illness, nothing more.’ That had been the final word on the matter, even as the poor queen lay suffering. Darling had been despatched with a chest carrying the last of the gold in the royal coffers and the best wishes of the King in the South. He hoped against hope that that would be enough to secure an alliance against the dark threat that so menaced his dominions.
‘Let us pray.’ That was all Master Sedgwick could say.
To be continued...
